I had so many good plans for the start 2018, that is until I was thrown a wrench in my plans. I ended up with a dislocated, broken ankle and lot of bed rest for the first two months on the new year. Not an ideal way to start a year, but a great lesson in taking time for yourself and asking for help. I hate asking for help.
Trying to work up passion for photography when you feel like crap is hard. Trying to grow your own brand and person business while your savings dwindles down is a real test. I felt like I had failed and how was I pull myself up from this?
I wish I had documented more of my struggle. The daily struggle to bathe, to eat, to sleep and most importantly stay sane! Luckily I have some good friends that would help me get groceries or throw out the trash. Work was very slow (non existence) and I had a hard time even leaving my house. My depression was on full force and I got to the point where I hated netflix. I tried occupy my time with self portraits, even through the pain and frustrations.
I started to take self portraits sitting on my couch using only the sad dim winter day light and a candle. I felt it was therapeutic to let out my frustrations through creating.
I also started painting and experimenting with what I could do from home sitting.
I mustered up the courage to take nice portraits of myself. This was the only one that came out nice. The others I was so self critical of, I didn’t want to show my foot in a cast. I had a stink look on the face, which looking back, it wasn’t that bad girl. Chill.
Me learning to socialize again with my buddies. Felt good to be able to walk with one crutch!
I finally got the okay from my doctor to walk with this real sexy boot. It took me almost a month to feel comfortable walking to the point to take photographs. This was my first photoshoot since I broke my ankle. Although my ankle and foot was in such pain, I popped a Tylenol and went about it. Look at that excitement.
But it was so well worth it. Look at these photos I took of Jana!
Since then I have been continuing with my self portrait work as a continuous release and self healing. Like this one I took in August. So what was the lesson from this? To relax and ask for help. It isn’t as bad as you think, so enjoy when you get time off. Even when it is forced to you by the universe.